well, pin a rose on my nose.

Me: so you went to a psychic? What’d she say?

Cara: I’m going to meet my soul mate within a year

Me: …uh huh.

Cara: And she said our relationship is going to get better.

Me: Well, it can’t really get worse at this point.

My sister and I are really too close in age to be the best of friends, although maybe that’s what my parents were hoping for. Two girls, two years apart. They can share clothes and stories and have cute slumber parties and Elena can teach Cara all about growing up. Now I’m 20 and my sister is 18 and those days are long gone. I can’t recall the last time I saw my sister and didn’t fight with her. And it kills me, it really does. But I’m too proud to do anything about it; I have one of those “it’s never my fault” complexes. And my sister has turned into someone I can’t respect. A lot of the time she’s cruel and shallow and vain—aren’t we all?—but seeing it in Cara makes in ten times worse. I watch the way she acts, towards me and towards my parents, and it just makes me seethe with anger. And I can’t do anything about it.

I’ve always tried to take on the responsibility of a parent. I shouldn’t, because we have two loving parents that are perfectly capable of handling my sister on their own. But I’m never satisfied with their response. Growing up as the oldest sibling, I’ve had a different relationship with my parents than my sister has. I’m not going to say I wasn’t spoiled (that would be a baldfaced lie) but I don’t think I ever took what I had for granted. My sister feels much more entitled, and watching her expect everything instead of being thankful is infuriating. How can I not step in? Isn’t it my responsibility as the older one? That’s my job, to teach her.

I think I’ve badly scarred my relationship with my sister. She’s the cause, but I’m the effect. My reaction to her has severely strained the bond between us, if not cutting it completely. I watch other people with their siblings and I’m so jealous—that’s what I want. I don’t need this volatile, fiery, hate-filled fury between her and I. It needs to change, but that would require her to become an adult, and me to become a peer instead of a superior. I don’t know how this is going to happen, but it has to.

colleentie:

Oh my god Kate this picture of my drunk ass has way too many notes. You can always tell I’m drunk because I have that face and my hands are always in the air somewhere. Always have to remind myself not to wave my arms in the air like I just don’t care because I definitely do care sober.

let me tell ya bout mah besssst friend

(Source: maldjian)

SHOULDN’T THERE BE A “LIVE” IN HERE SOMEWHERE? “YOU COULD THOUSAND LIFETIMES MAKES NO SENSE”

My english major’s sense is tingling.

(Source: acciothehungergames, via dementir)

that time when your mirror is too small to encompass your entire head so you use photobooth as a mirror to straighten your hair and accidentally take a picture when you are trying to make the screen brighter.